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[Thursday
January 22nd, 2009
10:23pm] |
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i haven't been doing so good, i'm not sure why. i've been annoyed at everything and i've been calling my mom a lot because she always loves to talk to me and it makes me feel good. my classes are okay. my writing class is really tough but not impossible. we have to take geography tests. its ridic. there is so much reading that i have to do but i can't do it due to my first sentence ^. i can't wait to go home! i've been playing a little bit of wow but i can't level without gagan because i suck and we are a good team. i feel really alone even though there are tons of people here. its very strange. i wish i didn't have it. i wish i knew how to fix it. i wish it didnt affect me. i just need something to cheer me up and i know what i want but i dont think its going to happen. marni and amanda are talking about riots in boston right now because of the crashing economy. eeek!! i just can't be here anymore and i'm not sure anyone understands it. i wish they did.
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| Noone understands me quite like you do |
[Sunday
January 18th, 2009
1:37pm] |
I've been doing OK.
My roommates are getting mad at me for hanging out with my other friends or something and its kinda weird. I've had no motivation to do anything. I am really homesick and i just want this semester to end asap. =[ It sucks a lot because I always have this weird feeling like im trying to just enjoy it but I'm not. I'm not trying to be emo lmao. I like playing wow with gagan because i feel like were kinda in the same place in some weird way lmfao. that was really nerdy. But srsly. I am trying my hardest.
Today i woke up and went to breakfast with my roommates and now i am here. Elaine is sick with a fever and i think tina and heather are gonna go sledding but i don't know if i want to go because i have nothing to wear and theres not even that much snow. But it is really pretty! My books are locked in the mail room until tuesday and i am pissed off because i need to read 2 chapters in my bio book!! e.e I also need to read a whole book by like thursday. Its about health in Haiti. ehhh
I feel really weird. Like i just want to lay in my bed all day but thats going to make me feel worse. I probably will end up doing that.
I can't wait until Valentines day =] Its gonna be the best one ever =]
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[Thursday
January 15th, 2009
8:28pm] |
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It kinda sucks to be back. I miss gagan a lot and i keep thinking i can just call him up when im bored and have him come pick me up. I wish i had lots of money so i could go home all the time and stuff and visit. I miss buffalo when i'm not there. Although when i am there im like wtf most boring place ever lmao. Its home though and i miss it. I hope i get into UB next year because if i dont i have no idea what im going to do. because i am not coming back here after i saw how homesick i get. It suckssss. I feel like nobody here really cares about me that much. Its kinda sad but i will have to deal with it for a little while more. I am trying to be positive now =] I hope gagan appreciates it because ive been a debbie downer lmao i love him :)
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[Wednesday
January 7th, 2009
2:51am] |
So i have crossed over into the dark side. AKA playing world of warcraft typically known as Wow. Yes. I haven't done much of anything all vacation which is exactly what i planned it to be. I feel so much more relaxed here than in boston ive come to realize. I always feel stressed and anxious in my dorm room. And i hate having the feeling like im missing out on something. Like i have tons of friends who i love there. They are awesome but i just wish i could transport them to be nearer to buffalo =] Today i had a breakfast date with myself. French toast. It was delicious. Compliments to the chef. ;]
I wish gagan wouldnt sleep until dinner time. I always try calling him at a respectable wake up time but he always goes back to sleep so I pretty much gave up trying to fix his sleeping schedule.
I'm prolly gonna go play wow now not gonna lie.
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[Saturday
January 3rd, 2009
2:55am] |
i have a stomach ache. =[
i need money. asap.
so i can buy myself lots of stuff.
i spend lots of time with gagan.
i like it.
i wish i didnt have a terrible sleeping schedule.
because i hate sleeping until like 1 in the afternoon
and wasting my whole day.
i am scared to go back to school.
because i dont want anything to change while im gone.
i feel the same way i felt in august when i left the
first time. i wish i could just stay here.
oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do.
hopefully the people who care about me will
care about me enough even when i have to leave
again.
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[Tuesday
December 23rd, 2008
3:50am] |
This city is cold. Really cold. I'm cold.
Okay. Anyways. It is super nice to be home. I feel so relaxed and happy. Christmas is sooon and I am so psychedd. I made gagan go downtown with me to check out if Buffalo is any good at christmas. The conclusion: Buffalo sucks at doing christmas. We went to fountain plaza and gagan trespassed onto the skating rink. Don't tell anyone. Then we hung out at his house for a bit and he was serenading me. With the same lyrics. For 15 mins. It went a little something like "Hey Kelsey, Sing me a song, it don't have to be too long, its just gotta make me smile for a little while". I did not sing him a song. Lmao. =]
Sara's bird is friggin adorable. Jtlyk
I want to play in the snow really bad.
I want to go snowboarding.
I need to stop living at the mall lmao..that goes for you too gagan
I need a new book to read
I'm gonna go visit teachers tomorrow I think
My nose is stuffy. I hope i'm not getting sick.
I want those jeans from urban outfitters.
I need to go to sleep because it is 4 am. Wtf
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[Friday
October 31st, 2008
1:00pm] |
So I decided that I will probably be transfering home next year. I love boston, its a sweet city..but not for school i don't think =/ It is insanely distracting and I am doing pretty bad in my classes. Plus I don't even take advantage of the city cos none of my friends like to go do stuff really. They like to party all the time, which is fine, but I'm not really into it so...yeah. I will be gracing buffalo again with my presence. hehe.
I am now going to put more of an effort into my work because I NEED to do better. I got a C+ on an essay that should have been really easy. But i didn't pay enough attention to it. Wtf. I suck. lulz
So. Today is halloween in case you didn't notice. =D I am being a cat and two of my roommates are being mice and we are taking advantage of the point that girls are allowed to dress like sluts on halloween. I figure i mine as well do it once in my life. Lmfao its hilarious. =] We are going to a party tonight and we have a few tomorrow. It should be pretty entertaining cos I don't drink enough to get drunk so i just get to sit back and enjoy everyone else making fools out of themselves =] Its great
Things to do: This is mostly for my own benefit.
1) Eat
2) Sign up for meeting with advisor
3) Go to the gym lols
4) Crack open my textbooks once in a while
5) Make doctors apt
6) Clean my disgusting room
7) Go collect lab data =/
8) Go to sleep earlier
9) Stop writing this list because i know i am never going to come back and look at it
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[Thursday
October 16th, 2008
9:50pm] |
Observed on BU Campus: Girl walking down the street with a shirt that said "puppies", carrying a stuffed animal puppy on her shoulder; Girl with a ribbon in her hair with 'school' print on it and a bell attached; two boys standing in front of the law building talking about how they couldn't find the law building; girl wearing mini skirt with mammoth boots.
Yeah. So my parents are here! I went to eat and stuff with my grandparents today =] It was nice to eat somewhere outside of my dining hall. My grandma was like "Kelsey, what do you like to eat?" and i was like "uh..anything that is made somewhere other than warren towers dining hall" Then we went to mikes pastries and i got the most delicious cannoli ive ever had in my life. I am so excited to go to Salem on saturday =D
I had my bio exam today. it could go either way i think, but if i do bad i'm going to lose all hope =[ My chem exam is on monday and i pretty much have no idea how to do anything eeeeek. I suck at college.
I was being a really big creeper today and playing sexual sounding songs and mouthing the words to my roommate. It was hilarious cos she was freaking out and calling me a rapist. I always do shit like that when I am bored out of my mind lmfao. Good thing my roommates understand my humor.
Gagans birthday is next week =] I am cooking him dinner and we're gonna go to a haunted house and other stuff that i havent decided yet =D I am excited except i can't decide what to make. hahah <3
I have to do a lot of work and i'd prefer not to fail out of school.
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[Friday
October 10th, 2008
7:56pm] |
I. AM. DYING.
there is no doubt about it.
i think i am making myself physically ill. 0_0
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[Thursday
October 9th, 2008
3:18pm] |
| [ |
music |
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Cobra Starshipppp |
] |
I've been being kind of weird lately prolly cos i miss everyone and stuff. My roommates are all going home this weekend which is kind of a positive/negative situation.
Positive: I get the room to myself for the first time in like 5 weeks =0, I can get naked and stuff when im changing without worrying about anyone walking in on me lmfao, i can actually get some work done for once, i dont have to worry about there being drunk people in my room, i can watch tv-omg i just thought of that!-, i can go to bed whenever i want without inconveniencing someone, i dont have to be considerate of anyone, i can play my own music loud, and i can get some time to hang out with other friends.
Negatives: I will miss them, i get extremely lonely because i realized that im not good at being by myself for a long time, i will have nobody to eat with, elaine won't be here to make me eat healthy and stuff, there will be nobody here to dance with and run around with when i am hyper at midnight, i will have to go shopping by myself and finally nobody will be here to steal ice cream bars from the dining hall with me lmao.
Chris and a few of my other friends will be here so i'll prolly end up hanging out with them a little. Mostly i think im going to study and write my paper just because it will be perfect since i will have nothing else to do. Also i will be going to the gym every day so i can get back into my routine because i dont want to gain back any of the weight i lost even though my mom told me to stop losing weight lmfao. Sorry mom.
I got a 75 on my psych test which really really pissed me off because i thought i did so good. Ughhhh. Oh well. BU is hard =/ I am going to try to do better though.
I cannot wait to come home again. I am so excited because i appreciate cheektowaga so much more now. I love it =D Plus i want to spend some quality time with our new hd tv. Mmmmmmmm.
I miss gagan =[ Its weird not spending all my time with him because we did everything together all summer! Weird weird weird weird. He makes it better though because he says all kinds of cute things all the time so it makes it much easier to get through the time until i come homeeee. =D <3
My desk is a mess and im cringing just sitting here. There are books piled up threatening me and whispering things to me about how i didnt read them even though i should have. lmfao. Srsly though i need to read those.
My parents and grandparents are coming up next thursday for parents weekend!!! I am so excited because we're gonna go do tourist things that i really want to do but can't really without feeling stupid since i live here rofl. I think we're going to salem on saturday which is gonna be sick because its near halloween =] =] And we're gonna go to North end which has lots of expensive italian restaurants and Mikes pastries which is supposedly pretty orgasmic. I need to remember to have my mom bring me hitchhikers guide to the galaxy because i have a craving to read it since me and my roommate were singing 'so long and thanks for all the fish' today.
I'm gonna go to the gym and run a lot to make up for the 2 weeks i haven't gone at all. Usually i go and find a superb treadmill then run for like a mile and sometimes a half if im feeling particularly athletic. Then i go do some core stuff like push ups and crunches and mountain bikes and planks and rulers. Then i usually do the elliptical for like 5 mins then go back to the treadmill cos the elliptical is a waste of time even though i do it every time lmao. I pretty much love our gym. =D
okay okay i decided that i am going to stop worrying so much. i think too much and i just need to stop lmao
=D
okay im gonna go be fit now. laterrr <33
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[Monday
October 6th, 2008
9:26pm] |
hi. i am dating gagan. and hes pretty sweet.
lmao i never really mentioned it in my journal so i dedicate this journal entry to that.
anyways. gagan came to visit me this weekend!! It was so much fun. We did a ridiculous amount of shopping and a lot of t riding. I took him on a romantic date on saturday night. We went to see nick and norahs infinite playlist. Which was insanely adorable. We loved the soundtrack. Then we took the T to quincy market and we walked around. We checked out this sweet fountain and then we walked by the water front. It was so nice. I loved it. Then we went and he bought me a hot dog because i was really in the mood for it. We heard a lot of banging so we followed the sound and found this guy playing this sick drum beat on some buckets and pans. This random guy was doing this ridiculous dance and doing flips and stuff. It was funny =D I gave the guy a dollar because he was homeless and what not. Gagan told me that it was the best date he ever went on =D That made me really excited. This weekend made me really happy =]
I am in the library right now and im supposed to be doing like..idk..school work?? lmfao i got distracted clearly. I am pretty much over drama and i am doing things for myself for once in my life. I dont think thats so bad. If people dont accept that then fine. But before i can make anyone else happy i have to make myself happy first. I dont take care of myself nearly as much as i should. And for the people who support me with that then they will get my respect and my friendship. I have been free of drama since ive come to school and i love it. Because nobody really cares here. The outlook is that you should do what makes you happy. Because srsly if your miserable then wtf are you doing with your life. =]
i am happy. and pretty much all my friends are happy for me too. and thats all i want really.
=D
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[Thursday
October 2nd, 2008
11:57pm] |
So college is pretty annoying. Chem sucks. I hate it. And it pretty much hates me back. lmao. i got like a 30 on my first test. Except the average was a 46. I suck. I hope i start to do better. I can't get into the routine of studying because i didn't study at all in high school. Like senior year i did not work whatsoever. Oh well. Anyways. I love my roommates. Other than them though i don't have very many friends. Like i miss having super close friends. Except its only been a month or so. Soooo i guess i have time. College semesters go by insanely fast. It is so weird. Like i feel like i just got here and there are midterms coming up already. What is going on!!
I cannot wait until tomorrowwww. Because gagan is coming to visit me!!!!!!!!!!! Its going to be so much fun because i get to go places in boston with my best friend =D <3333 I have a bunch of places already planned out so hopefully we get to see all of them. Some of the places i havent even been to yet so we get to see them together =] I am so happy. Tomorrow cant go by quick enough srsly. I have to get through a psych exam so hopefully i can suppress by excitement enough to get some studying in =] eeeeeeeeeeeee!
What else. Uhm. I got a new coat today from h&m! I ventured to newbury by myself because i like shopping for things i actually need by myself. I ended up getting a dress, a shirt and a vest too. =/ I am bad. I need to deposit my checks so i actually have some money in my bank account lmao. Oh and i need to add money to my charlie card. And look into plane tix for gagans bday. And clean my room. Crap. I need to go. lmao
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[Monday
September 29th, 2008
4:04pm] |
Lol why does it seem like every time i find something that really makes me happy, its at the expense of other people. Idk i decided this one time i would go for it and just make myself happy. I'm trying my hardest to please everyone but apparently its just not enough. I went home this weekend and I feel like i didn't even get to do anything lmao. I didn't get home until like 10:30 on friday so i was pretty dead. My flight was delayed out of boston so i had to sit in the airport by myself for 4 hours =[ It was depressing. I felt bad because my mom misses me a lot so I hung out with her a lot of the day on Saturday. We got breakfast and we went shopping and then she went with me to get my hair cut and my eyebrows done. (Which they freakin burned my face again >=/) Then I came home and I drove over to visit my grandparents. I chatted for a while with them and they raved about how much weight i lost? Which makes no sense because the scale says i didn't lose any lmfao. I think they were expecting me to come home with the freshman 15 hahah. Then i hung out with gagan and stuff because he claimed me all night lmao. Sunday was like a blur. I went to see sara for only like 20 mins =[ I feel bad because i had no time to see anyone, but I'll be home for longer during thanksgiving. Then went to wegmans and bought a ton of food to stock in my dorm =D I had dinner with my parents and grandparents and then went to the airport. =[ My roommates are so cute they all gave me hugs when i came back and told me how much they missed me lmao. =D I love them.
Ughhhhhh My room is a mess and i dont feel like cleaning it up lmao. I haven't showered yet today because i'm like a zombie and I just don't really care what i look like to be honest. And i have an extreme craving for Ben & Jerrys ice cream half baked style. best flavor ever srsly. Go try it. I think i'm gonna go buy some right after i'm done typing this. =D
I think gagan is coming to visit this weekend. I really hope so because i want to show him lots of stuff. plus now when i tell him about something on campus he'll actually know what i'm talking about =] I want more people to come visit me because there is so much to do around here that i want to show my buffalo friends =D (so srsly if someone wants to come visit..do it) =]
<3
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[Friday
August 22nd, 2008
12:53am] |
i hate goodbyes.
i hate not being able to say goodbye even more.
i hate that the only thing that i feel i can talk to about my feelings is my livejournal.
i hate vicious headaches.
i hate feeling bad about myself.
i love that i get to start over.
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[Tuesday
August 19th, 2008
10:44pm] |
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So finally I am getting excited about moving to Boston. I am terrified but I am excited to be in a place where there will always be people to hang out with, and always something to do. My dorm is going to be insane. It's nicknamed the Zoo..and for good reason. Its all freshman and i heard that its never quiet. Looks like I'll be getting all my work done in the library! :) Actually my school is sweet. Its right next to the Charles River so I can just bring my laptop there and work right next to the water. Eeeee I am getting so excited now. I will be home every month pretty much so i'm not even going to have enough time to get home sick!!! =D Plus i'm hoping my friends will come and visit meeeee. I am pretty psyched because i think Boston is the perfect place for me. And as much as I'm going to miss my home, i think i'll settle in just fine. Except the first week or so is kinda gonna suck because its going to be forced friend making activities and crap. I guess every school is like that though, so oh well I can get over it. I went to the zoo with gagan today! I liked it a lot but he complained the whole time so i don't think he did. =[ Oh well. After that we went to teds which i was craving and then he took me home at like 4. I did nothing after that until like 9 when sara got out of work. I'm lame =[ We did our tuesday routine of going to wendys and then going to visit liz at work. Brandon made me a croissant and liz gave me it for free =] Then sara dropped me off, which is where i'm at now. I am spending way too much money lately. hahhahah oh well. I am a crazed shopper. As soon as i see something i like i buy it. Its ridiculous. I need to tie my hands up when i go into any store. I think i have all my necessities gathered up to pack now. I am excited for classes to start so that i have something to do. This is going to sound weird but i am excited for my writing class. I really like writing papers when i am interested in what i'm writing about. Every freshman has to take a writing class and there are TONS of differant ones that you can choose from. I chose "Craft of Fiction" which is where you learn about characters, setting, blah blah. I'm hoping we get to write stories because thats my favorite type of writing. I'm also taking Bio, Chem, and Psych. And that is all my classes. It doesnt seem like a lot but my schedule is packed for some reason. I'm excited for all my classes except Chem because i freakin hate chem. I am watching gymnastics on the olympics. I love it because i am so impressed because i can barely do a cartwheel and they are pretty much amazing. Tomorrow hannah is taking me on a date! I dont know what she has planned for me thoughhh. =] Then we're probably going to the Jacks Mannequin concert!!! I'm so excitedddededed.
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| lmao |
[Monday
August 18th, 2008
1:12am] |
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Lmao i am so terrible to myself. i have no idea why i do anything i do. i put no thought into things and i end up in messes. lmfao hannah "we suck at life" =] iloveyou. so i am excited for hannah to come and take me on a date!!!!!! =] =] She has never failed me yet. thanks hannahhhh. That reminds me of "he never failed me yet"....the song that we sung for chorale obv. Im pretty much in love with that song. I miss chorale =[ I miss all my friends really...now that i only have a week left!!! I am going to make a big big effort to see everyone before i go. I'll be back maybe in october though =] So thats only like 2 months goneeee. No worries :) I have pretty much all my crap. I just need to pack my life up into crates and whatnot. I am actually getting excited. Its mixed emotions still actually. I know the people who are important to me will stay in touch and not forget me. I guess that other ones i can afford to lose. I kinda have sucky 'friends' anyways. But thats what happens after you graduate. And i know that. But i know those people who care about me and i know that we will keep in contact. No matter what they think. Anyways...i wish i wasnt so stupid. Maybe turning 18 on saturday will give me some common sense!!!! that would be a great birthday present. =] I actually dont really feel like i deserve anything. I can't wait until i have a gym open to my use at all times because i need to run off all my feelings on a treadmill. Thats gonna be awesome. Oh my mom bought me new sneakers today! They are puma and they are very very white and they look like i should be living in 2050 in a pod with a floating car and some matching track suits to go with the rest of the futuristic population. Srsly. Wtf at the weather. I'm hoping buffalo gives me some nice weather for my last week. Although i highly doubt it. Maybe boston will like me better. I feel like i should stop being so nice in general. I'm not really sure why but i just feel like that might be a good thing to do, even though it sounds like a terrible idea. I dont really know what i want at all. but that is a typical girl thing. no girl knows what they want and if they say they do they are just lying to themselves. I am going to make the best out of my last week no matter how sucky i think it might turn out to be. I can't decide whether or not to get my hair cut again. Maybe just a trim? I kinda love the length that its at now though. Oh the decisions. This is too much pressureeee
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| i'd rather waste our time together, yeah |
[Thursday
August 14th, 2008
12:31am] |
So i got myself grounded. lmfao. Its killing me from the inside srsly. Like its driving me crazy. Today i found myself standing in my hallway. Just standing there. Waiting for people to reply to my texts. Then i layed down on my floor in various positions. It was pretty pathetic. At one point i was laying on my floor with my head level with my printer, just watching it print out a piece of paper. My mom was like, you can do other things while your waiting for that to print. And i replied with 'like what'. and she said..hmmm i dont know, i guess you can watch it if you want to. Earlier today I went shopping with my mom for some dorm stuff. We got a crap load of stuff actually so i guess it was a successful trip but she was kinda driving me crazy =[ Then i came home and i asked gagan to come over so i didn't die of boredom and he did. And he bought me a bagel =] It was really nice considering that hes poor lmfao. ;] We sat on my porch in the freezing cold winter weather. Since its august and obv about to snow. Good thing i just bought some new snow boots like a month ago =D Omfg and i just remembered that i was a gentleman and i gave him my relient k hoodie to wear and he went home with it for a second time. Hes worn it more than me now lmao not cool. Speaking of relient k, i bought the new cd and i really like the song 'i just want you to know'. Maybe you should go listen to it...=] Go ahead. Right now. I turn 18 in like 1 week. Its going to be the suckiest birthday of my life i think because all my friends will be gone. Except gagan. Atleast someone will be there =] I decided ill probably cry the whole way to boston. I dont really know what else to do with myself on the way there lmfao. I feel like im going to be begging my parents to buy me plane tix home all the time =] All my friends are telling me that i am going to forget about them but there is no possible way. I am the last person that would ever forget anyone. I think everything will be fine. I'm trying this new thing...its called optimism i think. yeah. I think im gonna try that out. I'm disappointed that my mom is off tomorrow because that means i can't do anything. Unless shes feeling particularly forgiving and she lets me off =] Which is what will probably end up happening because i'm good at what i do...which is getting exactly what i want. lmfao. I love the office. A lot. My mom was telling me today how stupid it was and i just looked at her and pretty much lost all respect for her sense of humor. lmao. Oh, and i bought a $75 purse today =[ i love it so much though. Its mustard colored......my favorite obv. Wtf im typing this in the dark and i keep losing track of where my symbol and number keys are =] I'm pretty exhausted. If you can't figure out what that means...it means that i'm ending this now.
ps-gagan. did i boost your ego at all?
EDIT: GAGAN IS SO HOT AND SUCCESSFUL.
[happy?] =]
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| all i wanna do is boom boom boom boom boom....and take yo money |
[Sunday
August 10th, 2008
2:55am] |
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Where to begin. This morning I woke up on the couch so confused because i forgot i slept there. Then i took a shower and rode my bike over to gagans =] Sara and me decided that we should go to dennys for breakfast before the fair which was supposed to happen at 12. So we got breakfast to go and we pretty much didnt end up going until like 3. =/ Oh well. When we got there we ate, then the guys went and gambled while the girls walked around. I wish i was 18 already so i wouldnt feel so stupid all the time lmao. Then me and gagan went back home and stopped by tinas for a few mins and left asap. When i got home i had to wait 2 hours for gagans surprise and i was really antsy so i went shopping by myself. It was kind of sad but i got a cute new pair of jeans out of it =] I sat around for a long time when i got home waiting for gagan to call me. He finally came and picked me up and he took me to his house which really confused me. But i walked into the garage and SURPRISE!!!! A going away party!!! It was chris, his gf, joe, sara, evan, and then later steve, nick, michelle and kristen. =] It was so incredibly cute of him. I'm pretty sure its the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for me! It turned out to be lots of fun! =] I am really going to miss gagan when i leave =[ We have been hanging out every single day which is going to make a drastic change when i leave =/ I am going to miss everyone. I love all my friends so much =] Oh yeah and i decided that gagans little brother is so cute =] hahaha. After the majority of people left it was me, steve, gagan and joe and I have come to realize that they are extreme pyromaniacs. It was funny though =] I stayed extremely out past my curfew (for you gagan) and my mom is pretty freakin pissed but i can get myself out of anything pretty much so it should be fine. I can't wait to not have to work anymore srsly. I hate it so much. I called off today and I think they hate me now but that is completely fine with me because i hate them right back. I have to work 3-8 tomorrow which sucks because i always feel like im missing out on something extrememly fun or something. The universe may be coming to an end when i say this, but..i hope i work with ryan tomorrow. =0 rofl. Then tues, and saturday and then IM DONE FOREVERRRR! yayayya. I got my eyebrows done the other day and the dumbass lady BURNT my skin. It doesnt hurt too much anymore but its getting all weird now. =[ I am beyond pissed. Well..maybe hair wont grow back there lmfao. Gagan took a bunch of videos that he is going to put on youtube and i was just thinking about how i am excited to watch them. =] And i was also thinking about how tired i am. Tomorrow is gonna suck i think so hopefully i get to hang out with my friends after work, otherwise i may die. I am realizing a lot of stuff about myself lately. First of all, i usually only write lj entries when i am pissed off. Next, I can't stand to be alone at all. I go insane. Next, I am a very panicky person about everything. Another, I am a baby when it comes to going against my parents which is sort of ridiculous and i'm starting to change that. Also, I am starting to be less shy which will be good for boston. I think thats it for now. If i think of anything else i learned ill be sure to include that in my next entry, which will be hopefully posted in a good mood =] Oh, and one more thing, snuggling is pretty much the best thing in the world ;] I lied, just one more. thanks for the party gagan! ilu!!!
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[Wednesday
August 6th, 2008
12:56am] |
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I don't even know why i try to be a good friend to everyone. I get walked all over all the time. I'm not sure why people think i am so naive and stupid and they think i don't realize that they are taking advantage of me. It sucks. I guess this doesnt go for everyone, so for the few who actually are true friends to me thank you. I feel like maybe I should change my attitude about things so that im not such a push over but I guess i don't really want to change. I just need to analyze some things i guess. Ive come to the realization that my world is not coming to an end just because I'm going to college. Ive also come to the realization that change scares the shit out of me. I really had no idea how much it scared me until everything is changing. Lately I've just been working and hanging out with the same few people. I'm trying to expand and hang out with other friends too though. Idk i'm trying my hardest. I was supposed to go to racheles cottage this week but apparently me and sara were uninvited which sucks a lot. I really really hate work. I can't stand the customers or the people i work with half the time. I am just miserable the whole time unless I'm working with mike usually becasue mike is so cute. (or any of my other friends) I get to work with sara friday yaya! I'm glad me and sara are back to almost normal. Its obviously not the same as it was, but atleast i'm used to it now and can accept that i'm not really her best friend anymore. I wish i had more of a life. Oh well. I guess i can accept it as it is for now. I feel like maybe I need some alone time. But the problem is I can't stand to be alone. I just want to go to a place like ireland and just sit on the edge of a hill looking at a ridiculously pretty landscape. Yes. That is what i need. Ireland.
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[Monday
July 28th, 2008
1:19pm] |
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I just realized that I pretty much have no life. Sweet
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